Why do we do it?

Why do we deny ourselves something that we know is good for our soul? Is it because we are afraid, uncertain, or just stubborn?

Today I took myself down to the San Diego Museum of Art. I’ve been wanting to go for awhile and there never seemed like a good time to go. More importantly, I’ve been resistant because some part of me didn’t want to remember just how much I once lived, breathed, and loved art. When I was actively creating work and I would come into moments of struggle. I’d take myself on a date to the museum to look at art and to become inspired again. It worked every time.

I told my mother-in-law once that I had stepped away from art and stopped painting all together. She responded by telling me that I’d come back to it as if she knew for certain something I had not. She was right.

Today, as I walked around the museum my heart was full of inspiration and sadness. I was reminded again how important it is for me to look at art and how much I love looking at it and creating it. The sadness is for the time I’ve taken in stepping away from creating. I’ve got to go back, I thought and I was reminded of what my mother-in-law once told me.

And I thought to myself, why have I denied myself this experience for so long? Just because I am no longer creating paintings doesn’t mean I should deny myself the beauty of color, light, contrast, and composition. These are some of the aspects of creating art that I studied in school. I left the museum feeling renewed with a sense of hope and a desire to paint again. I walked around enjoying the beauty of Balboa Park and feeling happy. To continue the feeling I visited The Spanish Village Art Center. It is with in Balboa Park nestled amound the trees. It’s a collection of artist studios. One can stop in and see artists working on pieces, take classes or make a purchase to show your support. On my way out I stopped by a small studio of a painter, who paints in an Impressionist style . Landscapes with bright colors, small and large pieces a like. Her palette of mixed paint on a table next to the easel and a painting in progress. The work was so beautiful. I might go back and make a purchase.

So, I’ve included some pictures from the museum visit today. The work that moved me the most was Moon Gold by Nancy Lorenz. Gold lacquer on wooden panels.

My answer to those questions.. take one small action step to remind yourself of what feels good and to feel alive again. It’s better to remind yourself slowly of what you love and just because you walk away at one point doesn’t mean you can’t go back. Your soul will thank you.